Why I Travel With AuDHD

How (and why) I went from a hermit to an adventurer — despite my biggest fears.

For a long time, I thought I was an introvert. I genuinely love being alone. I can disappear into hyperfocus for hours. I like quiet. I like control. I like knowing what to expect. And if you’ve got ADHD and autism (hi, same), you know that craving for peace can sometimes become… isolation. Disguised as rest.

But here's what I've learned — the more I stay inside, the more I want to stay inside. After awhile, it gets harder and harder to do anything at all. It's not rest. It's inertia. A kind of stuckness that gets louder the longer I sit in it.

Not long after I was formally diagnosed with ADHD and autism (the "high-functioning, good-at-hiding-it" kind), my psychiatrist encouraged me to track my moods. So I did. And what I found genuinely surprised me.

I’ll drop my tracker here for context:

The darker the blue, the rougher the day. The green or orange means it was a better day. (Orange is the happiest. Look at that happy, blooming flower.) And sure enough, my happiest days were the ones where I left the house, spent time with people I love, or went somewhere exciting. The sad, low-energy days? The isolated ones. The days I thought I was “recharging,” but was really just… spiraling.

That was a turning point. Because for a while I had been romanticizing solitude. I had fully leaned into the moody, brooding, misunderstood artist energy — which, let’s be honest, is such an outdated myth. Being miserable is not a prerequisite for being creative. We don’t have to suffer to be interesting. You are allowed to be happy and creative. But I digress.

What this mood data showed me — and what I’ve slowly come to accept — is that I’m maybe not an introvert at all. I’m possibly an extrovert with severe anticipatory anxiety.

Like… I will feel physically ill before going to hang out with a close friend. Someone I love. Someone who loves me. I’ll feel like I’m going to throw up. And then I go… and I have the best time. I laugh. I feel like myself. My nervous system calms down. And I remember that fear is a liar.

That’s the thesis here, really:

I can’t trust the scared voice in my brain. The one that says, “You’re safer if you just stay home. It’ll be too much. You’ll get overstimulated. You’ll say something weird. You’ll wish you hadn’t gone.” That voice has been so loud for so long. But it is very often wrong.

So I’ve made a decision — and honestly, a kind of quiet life doctrine:

I will not let fear decide how big or how small my life gets to be.

Because here’s what I’ve learned: The only thing that keeps my life adventurous... is adventuring. The more stagnant I am, the more stagnant I remain. And that stasis? It might feel safe in the moment… but over time, it kills my curiosity, dulls my creativity, and drains me in a deeper way than any social hang ever could.

So I travel. Not for the photos or the passport stamps (I stay mostly local, really), but because I need to. For my health, my joy, and my ability to feel alive in my body. I need sun on my face. I need moments of awe. I need to make memories on purpose. And I want to help other people do the same.

Because here’s the final twist in my AuDHD plotline: It’s always easier for me to advocate for you than for myself. If my friend’s order is wrong, I’m marching up to the counter. If mine’s wrong? I’ll suffer in silence. (Shoutout to my nervous system for being both avoidant and deeply loyal.)

This blog is me using that energy — the "I’ll speak up for you" energy — for good. I want to create the detailed travel guides I wish I had when I started pushing myself out the door. I want you to feel like someone’s already been where you’re going, and they left the light on for you.

So if you’re wired like me... curious, but cautious... anxious, but hopeful... I hope this space helps you inch a little closer to that fearless feeling.

You don’t have to be “brave.”

You just have to get out the door.

And I’ll be here to help.

Oh, and if you're interested in tracking your mood (you self-aware, inquisitive being), it's built right into your iPhone. Go to Health app (the heart) > State of Mind. You'll be able to log your emotions each day — either how you're feeling in the moment, how you felt overall in a day, or both. My only complaint is I wish I was able to add notes, so I could remember exactly why I was upset or happy on a particular day without thinking too hard. I'll look into other apps to see if I can find something like that, and report back. :)